Melting face emoji

Issac,

I was expecting at least one letter from you in response to my endless letters! But I’ve been informed that you are busy indulging in making ‘new’ friends because the ‘old’ ones are not cool enough to fit in; could it get any worse?

Although I don’t believe in the idea of planetary placement having an impact on my life, the past month has convinced me otherwise. I cannot comprehend where I am going wrong or what’s really going on? Is my mind draining me, is my self-doubt stopping me from living or is it really just life preparing me for the worst?

When I look back at pictures of myself from a year ago I feel so disconnected and distant to the person I was then — almost unrecognisable! I spend my days contemplating life and asking myself: Will the suffering ever end?

I promise you haven’t seen this timid, perpetually anxious version of me. It seems as though I am physically present but mentally dead. Getting out of bed is a hell of a task and going to bed is a struggle of its own, not to mention that I cry myself to sleep every night. Most of my therapist’s questions are met with ‘I DON’T KNOW!’ I really don’t know what’s happening! Would it be fair to call it a ‘phase’ and dismiss it, or is it really a quarter-life crisis?

At the brink of 25 all I yearn is to be 19 again and relive the years I lost to my mental health!

Always anxious,

Iggy.